Reclaiming Your Voice In Your Relationship

I believe there are moments in each relationship, when we aren’t as vocal with our concerns. It can be a problem with communication, or just not knowing how to bring certain subjects to surface, within the relationship.

This doesn’t just pertain to romantic relationships, but any relationship that work towards being interdependent, and supply a sense of support. In dealing with my own personal experience with “losing” my voice in my relationships, I feel this is especially true in codependent relationships. I would often find myself avoiding any “unpleasant” conversation, or diverting from world issues, just to keep the “bliss” in my relationship. Self-doubt played a big part.

When we doubt ourselves it shows in how we voice, or don’t voice our concerns. We may even behave in indecisive ways, and give off the impression we cannot make our own decisions. I can feel like we’re giving up our power in this way, relying to heavily on others opinions, whether we truly agree or not. It’s important to take time to sit with your feelings, and understand what you truly need from yourself, and your relationships. Trusting in your own decisions builds confidence, and helps you assert yourself, “stand in your ‘No’, and stand up for your ‘Yes’ “ (Iyanla Vanzant).

It may be necessary to set a time to have certain discussions, and write down important points, as to not stray off topic. When we feel we are not being heard, we may be defensive when we finally do express our feelings. Share in a comfortable environment, where both you and your partner can discuss, and resolve concerns without pointing fingers. Setting boundaries in our relationships is crucial, if our desire is to have a healthy relationship with good communication. We need to get into the habit of practicing more communication where it’s lacking, and trusting that our partners (family and friends) are open to our needs, and want to work out any challenges that may be present.

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