“When You Know Better You Do Better” 


She loves like freedom

She loves like freedom
Like love is salvation
Because love is salvation

And to know her is to know love
You’d want to be all wrapped up in what she’s giving
A listening ear
Patient hands
and thriving heart
She finds the light in the dark
Has the ability to bring out your best parts
Daughter, sister, friend, lover
She protects what she cares for
Takes strength from her battle scars
She’s a warrior
Still fragile enough to need you
So don’t misuse her

She loves like the freedom you need
The salvation you seek
She is love.



“Question Everything”

She told us to ‘question everything’. And at the time I thought she simply meant authority, but it’s proven to be so much more than that.”

Ms. Lloyd was my 8th grade teacher at Bronx Writing Academy “The pen is mightier than the sword”. She was our Home Room teacher, and also taught Math and Science. Ms. Lloyd was a beautiful individual, who cared to share life lessons through her teaching. There was the Erykah Badu song “On & On” , “I was born under water with 3 dollars and 6 dimes. Yeah you might laugh ’cause you did not do your math”, used to convey a math problem. And the John Legend song “Ordinary People”, as we celebrated the end of the school year, and her reflection on our class (we were a handful).

It’s been a good 10 years since I’ve seen Ms. Lloyd, and one thing she taught us that stood out the most, was to question everything. If ever we had a concern about something question it, and make our voices heard. In my years growing up since then, I’ve learned it’s okay to stand by your own opinion, it’s okay to have your own vision and to know what you want to do with your life, and to go against the grain.

There have been times in my student, work, and personal life were I kept quiet not wanting to cause friction, and the end result was settling for less than what was deserved. Or in some situations, allowing mistakes and misunderstandings to be made, not thinking I had the power to correct things. I learned the importance in being your own advocate, and why it’s equally important to question the events around you.

In this life we’re all trying to make decisions, that will assist in our bettering. Having the confidence or assurance to question our own actions, keeps us true to our own personal values and morals. Why do we participate in the activities we do ? Is it driven by a loving passion, or something just to show off ?Or the friends and acquaintances we keep, do these individuals genuinely support us through life changes, or do we have to continuously seek them out?

In a world where it’s easier to follow suit, and conform, I was fortunate to be blessed with an educator like Ms. Lloyd. If by any chance she sees this, I just want to say “Thank You”. Thank you for always being there for a quick conversation, with a overzealous teen girl, and not making her feel bothersome when I felt misunderstood. And thank you for planting a seed, in myself and the rest of my classmates to always go for our best.


“Little Bundle of Contradictions”

It took me 15 years to relate to anyone, the feelings of being “different”. Eventhough you’ve passed on before my existence, and even in tragedy, you represent a reason to always choose life…”

When I first heard about Anne Frank I was in elementary school, and her story was presented to us through film. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I got the opportunity to read her diary. And in venturing ahead of the entries, I found a friend.

In “Little bundle of contradictions” Anne expresses her frustration, with her seemingly “dual personality”. I could relate to what she had written, as a child I too was highly active in personality, and also very introverted liking my own time to myself. It was hard for me to accept my differences, and how others viewed my personality as well. But as time passed, and I matured, I eventually learned self-acceptance, and learned to continuously embrace all sides of my being.

I wish I could express to Anne personally how her vulnerability to “Kitty”, helped validate a part of my life. Her candidness, young wisdom, and uplifting spirit, has touched the lives of many.

…Let me tell you friend, things got better. I cannot say too much for the outside world(some things haven’t changed), but most importantly I grow up and out. I learned to embrace more and more, all parts of myself. The silly crazed girl, that laughs and sings on no command. And the “better” me. That part of myself I was so fearful of exposing, based on how precious it was. The part of me that wishes to heal, and be healed, the thinker, the quiet one.

You cannot tell me we don’t live to serve others, to love in our authenticity, to be free…”


Article: But, It Just Didn’t Work!?

Ginger M. Sullivan, MA, LPC, CGP, FAGPA

Huh?  Okay.  On one level, I get it.  You found out that he’s a narcissist, of the pathological type.  Or, she came out of the closet and prefers women to men.  Or, his addiction to alcohol, or sex, or gambling is unrelenting.  And most importantly, he or she doesn’t give a shit.  And, on top of that, they are unwilling to do anything about it.

Yes, by all means, I get it.  It just did not work.  The end of the line is staring us in the face.  The relationship has “failed.”

But, what still boggles my mind is the nomenclature. Or the tense of the verb. It allows us to lose sight of the reality that there is a choice. And we have chosen to quit.

Relationships are not graded.  In other words, if we are in a relationship where there is some type of commitment or accountability or…

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The Gift of Friendship

These aren’t convenient friendships, only calling when life is good or falling apart. No, these are struggle in the middle of the night, we’re talking until we’re laughing or crying, solving life friendships.

When you have friends that want to see you do well, friends that take the time out to check on you, to see if you’re doing ok, and if not, by the end of the convo you feel like your soaring.
You tell these people every chance you get, you love them. You appreciate them.

These friendships take time to build. There is a certain vulnerability in these friendships. All emotions in these friends, they aren’t “cookie cutter”, they’re real. They’re honest. They are love.


Fall In Love If You Will

My love is victory after a year of defeats
Stormy weather rain with a rainbow at the end of it’s setting
My love is bright
To bright to look at like the sun
So you *close your eyes “Cool…”
Like the overachieving after hours mischief
“I didn’t know you had that in you”
My love is duplex.
My love is no longer an apology
Silence of fears
Passive yes and no
My love is no longer too Big to share
Or too Small to keep safe
It fits comfortably in me.
If you will love love honest
Like your favorite meal
If you will love love respectfully
Like the lyrics to your favorite song
If you will love love accepting
Like the size of your shoes
If you will love love first
Like you.