Don’t Accept Less Love: Emotionally Moving On From Unavailable Partners — Black Girl In Om

http://www.blackgirlinom.com/publication-articles/2018/3/dont-accept-less-love-emotionally-moving-on-from-unavailable-partners-nkechi-njaka#

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Progression

There’s a vast wealth of knowledge in the world. You have to be willing to expand yourself in the sense that you have to leave your comfort zone and be willing to be uncomfortable for a while to be willing to learn. Seek those who know what you don’t know but wish to. Gravitate to those who are doing or are on a path to doing what it is that you wish to. The information you need or the connections you need to move forward aren’t going to come to you. You need to go out and seek them. Until you make the conscious decision to break the shell you’re life won’t change. 
Bottom line: Do you want to live the common life of the masses: thinking, acting and receiving the same or do you want to live a life that is uncommon and unique? The choice is yours, just be mindful of your decisions. Think critically with the intent of how you wish to live your life. Question everything always.

Finding your voice

I went to a Women’s Leadership Conference this evening. It was lovely to be in the presence of fellow women of various backgrounds and different accomplishments that they’ve made in their lives. I was able to connect with and discover other women who shard similar interests either in the arts or inquiring about finding their identity. It was such a necessary experience for me at this point in my life as I’m trying  to discover who I am as a woman. I learned how crucial it is to seek a mentor or at least a community that which one can learn and grow as a women. I inquired about finding one’s voice and or identity in a time and place in which one hasn’t solidified confidence yet. The constant answer that I was told was to take risks and partake in different things in an attempt to grow. I’ve learned that the process of growth in addition to finding oneself as a woman in society involves gradual steps and a building up of different interactions etc. 

Under Construction ⚠️

This is the time to get quiet. Sow time into investing in your growth. Separate yourself from anything that is hindering you whether it be social media or certain associations/relationships. Turn your focus from comparisons to one another and how to keep up your appearance to be more popular to building up yourself(your spirit your inner man). You got to go through different periods in your life in order to grow and learn and be ready to walk into your destiny and what it is that you’ve been set out to do. Not every moment will be easy, comfortable or include the same ppl you started with. Seasons of discomfort are necessary to build you up and get you to that frame of mind accompanied by a certain behavior and certain outlook to enable you to be successful in your life. New seasons are coming and a rebirth(a renewing of your mind, behavior and relationships) aregonna be crucial so that you can flourish. Setting aside time to invest in your growth and learn will only propel you to where you need to be. Once it gets hard don’t give up and succumb to failure and falling away. You’ll only be able to get to where you need to be after you continue to work at it and take the journey for what it is. Rise to the occasion. Accept the challenges and do the necessary work required with the mindset that it is all in preparation for you to get to where you need to and aspire to be in life. 

Development 

It takes courage to share your story and be unapologetically yourself. In a world in which we’re constantly judged and picked apart for our beliefs, behaviors and ambitions it’s so easy to get lost. Get lost in people’s expectations and projected destiny in regards to your life and how it should be carried out. It takes time as you grow older to learn who you are and understand yourself. It’s only when you make a conscious effort to do this, separating yourself from the masses: talking, acting and thinking like everyone else will you be able to be who you truly are. Please be aware that the journey to loving and understanding yourself won’t happen over night. The process of development will take time, enjoy it andtake it for what it is. Make sure to question and analyze everything, especially what you believe, what you do and the necessary reasons behind that. Don’t ever just do things because you’ve been instructed to. Lastly try to engage in opportunities that challenge you and allow you to express & practice your gifts (special abilities)… Doing all these overtime should surely create a good path for you to develop and grow. 

Better sense of self

Before seeking out others to understand you why not make the choice to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. As women in society I feel we’re constantly told consciously and unconsciously that we need people of a higher authority, mainly men to give us a stamp of approval and meaning. I just want to tell you please don’t wait for someone to give you meaning. This whole idea of waiting, whether it is for love, fulfillment, happiness etc. in your life is detrimental. It implies that you are incapable of doing anything on your own. 

You weren’t created for the approval of men nor to appeal to their gaze and sense of perspective. This is just a reminder to stop waiting of you are for some man or anyone really to swoop in and change your life and your perspective towards it. You can do that by yourself. Reclaim your personal power. You are free to be who you want and go for what you desire. Feel free to create a safe space for happiness, healing, love and peace in your life. Go for what you want with full gusto. Surely not everyone will love and understand you. Then again not everyone is so easily understood. Not everyone can appreciate fine art (masterpieces) like you. 

I love you to all my readers. Especially those who have yet to fully love and understand themselves. 

Love C. Jacobs