There’s a vast wealth of knowledge in the world. You have to be willing to expand yourself in the sense that you have to leave your comfort zone and be willing to be uncomfortable for a while to be willing to learn. Seek those who know what you don’t know but wish to. Gravitate to those who are doing or are on a path to doing what it is that you wish to. The information you need or the connections you need to move forward aren’t going to come to you. You need to go out and seek them. Until you make the conscious decision to break the shell you’re life won’t change.
Bottom line: Do you want to live the common life of the masses: thinking, acting and receiving the same or do you want to live a life that is uncommon and unique? The choice is yours, just be mindful of your decisions. Think critically with the intent of how you wish to live your life. Question everything always.
I went to a Women’s Leadership Conference this evening. It was lovely to be in the presence of fellow women of various backgrounds and different accomplishments that they’ve made in their lives. I was able to connect with and discover other women who shard similar interests either in the arts or inquiring about finding their identity. It was such a necessary experience for me at this point in my life as I’m trying to discover who I am as a woman. I learned how crucial it is to seek a mentor or at least a community that which one can learn and grow as a women. I inquired about finding one’s voice and or identity in a time and place in which one hasn’t solidified confidence yet. The constant answer that I was told was to take risks and partake in different things in an attempt to grow. I’ve learned that the process of growth in addition to finding oneself as a woman in society involves gradual steps and a building up of different interactions etc.
This is the time to get quiet. Sow time into investing in your growth. Separate yourself from anything that is hindering you whether it be social media or certain associations/relationships. Turn your focus from comparisons to one another and how to keep up your appearance to be more popular to building up yourself(your spirit your inner man). You got to go through different periods in your life in order to grow and learn and be ready to walk into your destiny and what it is that you’ve been set out to do. Not every moment will be easy, comfortable or include the same ppl you started with. Seasons of discomfort are necessary to build you up and get you to that frame of mind accompanied by a certain behavior and certain outlook to enable you to be successful in your life. New seasons are coming and a rebirth(a renewing of your mind, behavior and relationships) aregonna be crucial so that you can flourish. Setting aside time to invest in your growth and learn will only propel you to where you need to be. Once it gets hard don’t give up and succumb to failure and falling away. You’ll only be able to get to where you need to be after you continue to work at it and take the journey for what it is. Rise to the occasion. Accept the challenges and do the necessary work required with the mindset that it is all in preparation for you to get to where you need to and aspire to be in life.
It takes courage to share your story and be unapologetically yourself. In a world in which we’re constantly judged and picked apart for our beliefs, behaviors and ambitions it’s so easy to get lost. Get lost in people’s expectations and projected destiny in regards to your life and how it should be carried out. It takes time as you grow older to learn who you are and understand yourself. It’s only when you make a conscious effort to do this, separating yourself from the masses: talking, acting and thinking like everyone else will you be able to be who you truly are. Please be aware that the journey to loving and understanding yourself won’t happen over night. The process of development will take time, enjoy it andtake it for what it is. Make sure to question and analyze everything, especially what you believe, what you do and the necessary reasons behind that. Don’t ever just do things because you’ve been instructed to. Lastly try to engage in opportunities that challenge you and allow you to express & practice your gifts (special abilities)… Doing all these overtime should surely create a good path for you to develop and grow.
Before seeking out others to understand you why not make the choice to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. As women in society I feel we’re constantly told consciously and unconsciously that we need people of a higher authority, mainly men to give us a stamp of approval and meaning. I just want to tell you please don’t wait for someone to give you meaning. This whole idea of waiting, whether it is for love, fulfillment, happiness etc. in your life is detrimental. It implies that you are incapable of doing anything on your own.
You weren’t created for the approval of men nor to appeal to their gaze and sense of perspective. This is just a reminder to stop waiting of you are for some man or anyone really to swoop in and change your life and your perspective towards it. You can do that by yourself. Reclaim your personal power. You are free to be who you want and go for what you desire. Feel free to create a safe space for happiness, healing, love and peace in your life. Go for what you want with full gusto. Surely not everyone will love and understand you. Then again not everyone is so easily understood. Not everyone can appreciate fine art (masterpieces) like you.
I love you to all my readers. Especially those who have yet to fully love and understand themselves.
Love C. Jacobs
“She told us to ‘question everything’. And at the time I thought she simply meant authority, but it’s proven to be so much more than that.”
Ms. Lloyd was my 8th grade teacher at Bronx Writing Academy “The pen is mightier than the sword”. She was our Home Room teacher, and also taught Math and Science. Ms. Lloyd was a beautiful individual, who cared to share life lessons through her teaching. There was the Erykah Badu song “On & On” , “I was born under water with 3 dollars and 6 dimes. Yeah you might laugh ’cause you did not do your math”, used to convey a math problem. And the John Legend song “Ordinary People”, as we celebrated the end of the school year, and her reflection on our class (we were a handful).
It’s been a good 10 years since I’ve seen Ms. Lloyd, and one thing she taught us that stood out the most, was to question everything. If ever we had a concern about something question it, and make our voices heard. In my years growing up since then, I’ve learned it’s okay to stand by your own opinion, it’s okay to have your own vision and to know what you want to do with your life, and to go against the grain.
There have been times in my student, work, and personal life were I kept quiet not wanting to cause friction, and the end result was settling for less than what was deserved. Or in some situations, allowing mistakes and misunderstandings to be made, not thinking I had the power to correct things. I learned the importance in being your own advocate, and why it’s equally important to question the events around you.
In this life we’re all trying to make decisions, that will assist in our bettering. Having the confidence or assurance to question our own actions, keeps us true to our own personal values and morals. Why do we participate in the activities we do ? Is it driven by a loving passion, or something just to show off ?Or the friends and acquaintances we keep, do these individuals genuinely support us through life changes, or do we have to continuously seek them out?
In a world where it’s easier to follow suit, and conform, I was fortunate to be blessed with an educator like Ms. Lloyd. If by any chance she sees this, I just want to say “Thank You”. Thank you for always being there for a quick conversation, with a overzealous teen girl, and not making her feel bothersome when I felt misunderstood. And thank you for planting a seed, in myself and the rest of my classmates to always go for our best.
It’s not your responsibility to prove your womanhood to anyone. Why waste time trying to prove that you are indeed a wise, brilliant, divine woman? The reality is that some will sleep on your greatness and others will awaken to the reality that who you are supersedes the expectations.
“It took me 15 years to relate to anyone, the feelings of being “different”. Eventhough you’ve passed on before my existence, and even in tragedy, you represent a reason to always choose life…”
When I first heard about Anne Frank I was in elementary school, and her story was presented to us through film. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I got the opportunity to read her diary. And in venturing ahead of the entries, I found a friend.
In “Little bundle of contradictions” Anne expresses her frustration, with her seemingly “dual personality”. I could relate to what she had written, as a child I too was highly active in personality, and also very introverted liking my own time to myself. It was hard for me to accept my differences, and how others viewed my personality as well. But as time passed, and I matured, I eventually learned self-acceptance, and learned to continuously embrace all sides of my being.
I wish I could express to Anne personally how her vulnerability to “Kitty”, helped validate a part of my life. Her candidness, young wisdom, and uplifting spirit, has touched the lives of many.
“…Let me tell you friend, things got better. I cannot say too much for the outside world(some things haven’t changed), but most importantly I grow up and out. I learned to embrace more and more, all parts of myself. The silly crazed girl, that laughs and sings on no command. And the “better” me. That part of myself I was so fearful of exposing, based on how precious it was. The part of me that wishes to heal, and be healed, the thinker, the quiet one.
You cannot tell me we don’t live to serve others, to love in our authenticity, to be free…”